Monday, January 28, 2008

On retirement

No, it's not what you are thinking. I am not retired nor thinking of retiring. I am too young and have many glorious work filled days ahead of me, and I doubt( highly) that I will ever (completely) retire. Not out of compulsion ,it's just easier. Working involves no emotions, no emotions means no conflict with self (type:approach-approach)which in essence will make it much much easier.
I know its strange coming from a female, since women are very into the whole emotional sphere and all that , but I am unique that way , or atleast thats what I suppose.
Anyway, to me we never retire. Never really retire anyway as we always end up doing soemthing or the other . Women start sitting in the balcaos and gossiping or start arranging matches(typical of goans) or the men take to fishing , real estate or head to the "club" where they have discussions( their term for gossip).
When I think of retirement I think of absolute calm and lack of any activity , withdrawal in a sense. In our lives we have phases of retirement, when we turn away from the world to sit aside and rediscover ourselves , others or a passion /goal. It helps to regenerate the energy that is sapped by the mundane nature of the things that generally surround us. A time to look within maybe, discover things that lay hidden for years , conquer fears. So we never truly retire , completely.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Running into my past

Well yesterday I found a piece of poetry(or something like it ) I had written in the 9th or 10th grade and goodness is it morbid. I didnt even recognise my own work , a little shocked ,anyway I think it would an interesting read and for those who never seen this side of me ,well there are lots of things you don't know about me , here is one of them . I haven't thought of a title for this one so suggestions are most welcome .

Standing alone , the cold rain washes away my tears

Faces in the distance smile and sympathise, but on different levels we do not merge ,their sympathy means nothing

No one usually gets past the outer sphere , but those few whom I hold so near seem so far away

And truth be told being a loner is not my thing I doubt it is anyone's

I long for someone , but somehow still let very few in

I hate standing alone in the rain, I cut myself to feel again even if its just pain

Numbness is not unknown to me

I have little happiness and very little joy , but those moments have passed on into oblivion

Well I have to smile and carry on , but I'll always be waiting for to pass me by again my friend

I miss the things we did , thoughts we shared basically just you

I would give up many things to have those moments back , to be with them and call them dear

But life drags everyone in a different direction and in each there is a lesson to be learnt ,a lesson that will change who you are forever

I was happy the way I was ,then pulled into this new street, into solitude

I'll wait and learn and then hopefully see light and happiness again

Till then farewell dear ones , till we meet again .

Resolution time once again

Well well so its new year again, its been a great run and thanks to all those who have been a part of my pretty amazing year. There have been ups and downs as usual, new tastes in music ,new favourite people , new ideas and new levels of intelligence, new places new experiences and so so so much more . Its been crazy , really crazy a its been a year with no regrets. This year I want to be a little less whacko hence a resolution or little resolutions with a time line , I mean I love my wild ways but its nice to be able to look back and have a clear picture of what you've done . So these aren't exactly resolutions , just things I would love to do.
Well here goes
1) make better use of my abilities and don't let them go to waste, paint more often , act in plays , dance etc
2)update this damned thing every week, so theres lots more coming .
3)make myself a priority, something I've never managed to do, everything else is more important or comes first , so lets give it a shot this year as well.
4)be more adventurous , you can interpret that in what ever way you want to
So wish me luck then